Friday, December 11, 2009

Food Inc.

This is one of the best documentaries I have seen since The Fog of War.

Well done, and well argued. A cry for sanity and regulation when it comes to the food industry and the way we consume, this film is impossible to ignore after you've seen it. It has inspired me greatly to shop at my local farmers market as regularly as possible and maybe, just maybe avoid fast-food. Though I wouldn't put money on the latter.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Three E.P.'s

I finally gave this album a well-deserved listen while actually paying attention. Surprising, since I got it about four weeks ago after watching High Fidelity. Cusak mentions the album and the band during a great scene in the film. Anyways, I was very pleasantly surprised.

Released in 1998, The Beta Band's The Three E.P.'s is a compilation of three E.P.'s (Champion Versions, The Patty Patty Sound, and Los Amigos del Beta Bandidos) that had been previously released. Creative title eh? The album plays all three E.P.s in succession, seamlessly. It doesn't sound like three albums smashed together into one at all, so don't worry. I have bascially had it on repeat for the past two days, trying to imagine why the fuck I hadn't heard this before. Maybe all of you had heard this previously, and are currently pointing at the computer screen cursing my lack of knowledge concerning lesser-known bands. Maybe not.

I honestly cannot recommend this album enough. I am not a music reviewer, so I'm not going make an attempt at explaining the 'sound' with strange terminology that when read slowly actually turns out to be non-sense. That's what is for. Listen to these two tracks and decide for yourself if you want to download/buy it. If you like Beck even in the slightest, this one should be for you.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Nicolas Cage: Marathon Man

Lately I've been noticing something. Something that defies logic. Something...strange.

That something, ladies and gentleman, is Nicolas Cage. It seems to me that Mr. Cage, basically ever since 2006 has been plastered all over the place. Ironic, considering 2006 is when his most widely panned movie The Wicker Man was released. I don't know how after watching that film, anybody would hire this man.


Since then Cage has starred in nine films, four of which came out in 2009. Next year is no different, as he is slated to release five films in 2010. Not to mention he has another three in pre-production. Thank you IMDB. The strangest part about all of this? A very small percentage of of these films are actually any good. Let's list them off, shall we?

World Trade Center (2006) Got a 70% on Rotten Tomatoes. I don't know how.
The Wicker Man (2006) Possibly the lowest score I have ever seen on RT. For more evidence, refer to video above.
Ghost Rider (2007) (Just click on the movie title to view it's score, I've gotten lazy)
Grindhouse (2007) We can omit this one. Tiny role.
Next (2007)
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)
Bangkok Dangerous (2008) I just watched this a few days ago. It could be said it inspired me to write this post. It could also be said that it's one of the least action-packed action movies ever made.
Knowing (2009)
G-Force (2009)
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009) Haven't seen this one, and it seems to be getting decent reviews. I guess one out of ten isn't so bad?

Notice how almost all of these movies don't make it past the 40% mark? Another thing, how can he even be in all of these movies in a year? Maybe there's an army of Nicolas Cage's somewhere underground, all with varying haircuts to differentiate between the characters.

Seriously though, what's with the hair?

Here's a taste of what's coming in 2010:

Looks like a real winner.

So what to make of all of this? Does Nicolas Cage have some horrible hidden addiction that he has to pay for? Or could his addiction be starring in shitty movies*? I guess we'll never know.

*Anything made before 2004 is omitted from this statement.

Here are my favorite Cage movies:

The Rock (1996)
Con-Air (1997)
Face/Off (1997)

These three films might actually be the greatest action movies ever made.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Twilight Fever

Over the weekend the new film in the Twilight crap-fest (or saga for some of you) was released world-wide. New Moon is what they're calling it, and it has broken the world-record for the largest-grossing film in an opening weekend of all time. This record was held by The Dark Knight when it was released two years ago. Or was it one year ago? Doesn't matter. What does matter is what can be learned from this: Create something that women want. Something goes off in their brains and they have to have it. It's like they turn into zombies (the kind that can run fast) and won't stop until they get what they want. Remember all those girls screaming and fainting for the Backstreet Boys? Yeah. Anyways, the product you put out apparently doesn't even have to be good. In fact, it can be rotten. Apparently of all the tickets bought for this film, 80% of the tickets were bought by women.

What is wrong with everyone? This isn't some boys vs. girls argument. I realize we have different tastes when it comes to these things. However, the books are continuously panned by literary critics world-wide, not to mention the films have been met with pretty negative reactions.

Seriously, what the fuck is going on in this world?

I could honestly go on for pages and pages about why this should not be a world-wide phenomenon, but someone already said it better than I ever could:

Friday, November 20, 2009

Look at the Positives

I had around five or six paragraphs typed out bashing the Leafs (after watching the collapse last night), explaining how they are the worst Leafs team to be assembled, blah blah. You don't need to hear that. You already know it's a fact.

I feel like a huge fool for writing this back in July. Sure Kessel is a proven top-5 first rounder. But two? I don't know. The way things are going, I'm having a hard time believing the Leafs will be out of the basement in the next two years. Komisarek and Beauchemin are so overrated it's impossible to fathom what Burke was thinking handing Komisarek a 5-million dollar a season contract. I'd rather have Kubina over both of them. Now that's saying something.

Luckily Gustavsson is showing promise, even though he's looked quite raw over the past few games. But let's at least cut him some slack, it's his first year in the NHL on the worst team in the NHL.

There is one positive to take away from all of this though: Ron Wilson and Brian Burke are running the U.S. Olympic Men's Hockey Team in Vancouver. Good news for us Canadians.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

About Last Night

If you didn't see what happened, here:

That goal put France in the lead over Ireland in extra time giving them the win, which means France is going to the World Cup instead of Ireland. I could not be happier.

You can call the play, or Henry whatever you want. Cheat, cheap, scum, vermin. He's been called worse. Hell, he's had bananas thrown at him on the field for fucks sake. He really does not seem to give a shit about what anybody thinks.


Let's be realistic: Had an Irish player pulled the exact same stunt, it would be the Irish celebrating, and the French calling them cheaters. Suggesting that the Irish would be so righteous in demanding the goal be called back, is ridiculous. As a Frenchman I will openly say that Henry cheated. If you ask me, there has never been a stronger case for video replay to be implemented into footy matches. But the fact is there isn't video replay, and we'll never know what the referee really saw. Fair goal if you ask me. Ref can't call what he can't see. Even if it was one of the greasiest plays in football history.

But you know what? Sometimes life is greasy.

See you in South Africa.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

This is England

Watched the film This is England last night, and I can safely say that I was blown away. It's story of lower-middle class English youth in the early 1980s, revolving mainly around a young boy and his search for acceptance. In his search he meets a gang of skin-heads, some of which are simply part of the 'scene' and others are actually racist nationalists. It's a very intense film, and is shot beautifully. The soundtrack is also great, with everything from The Specials to Toots and the Maytals.


*Edit: For anyone who wants to know, the song playing at the end of the trailer is "Never See the Sea" by Gain Clark.

I want to own a record store.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Why SNL Still Sucks.

Ugh...ball jokes? Really?

Pot-City, U.S.A.

I saw this "In-Depth" episode of Intervention on A&E a couple of weeks ago, and it has really changed my perspective on some aspects of the legal and illegal Marijuana grow ops (both medical and non-medical). I never really thought about how turning a house into a grow op not only ruins the house, but has huge effects on the surrounding neighbors.

We tend to think that when we get our product, since it's just pot, no really serious crime has been committed, and there generally was nobody truly affected by this little plant. But it seems something else is going on, something that I bet very few of us actually take into account. I'm not saying we need to stop buying/smoking it, but I think its high time that we as users, the government as regulators, and normal non-toking citizens take a serious look at what decriminalizing, fully legalizing and eventually taxing/controlling this plant could mean. Maybe things in the ensuing video won't happen any more.

Don't stare for too long.

H1N1 Priorities

I am not getting the H1N1 shot. I know it's an awful sickness to get, but you know what? I don't want mind-controlling government chips in my brain, got it? Haven't you been paying attention to the literature out there? Its free too, just go ask the crazy guy screaming on the corner. Seriously though I don't trust massive, wide-spread inoculations that have not withstood the test of time.

Maybe you had heard that a couple professional sports teams got vaccinated before the public was able to. The Calgary Flames, along with the Toronto Raptors and Toronto Maple Leafs got the shots before any body else could. Now there's some debate rising asking, why should they get their shots first?

I'll tell you why. Can you get a triple-double in a night? Score a hat-trick, or pull a Double-Dion? Are you nicknamed the "Human Eraser", or the "Monster"? Do you even have a bad-ass nickname? Didn't think so. These people keep me entertained for hours at a time, therefore are more valuable to society than you, or I will ever be.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Another new photo.

It's November. It's raining. Yeah.

Non-Threatening Rap.

"I Don't Like To"

Off of Shad's The Old Prince.

See, why can't more rappers be like this? You don't have a rhyme about guns, hoes, money, cars, and blasting cops/fools to be a good rapper. Although those subjects are highly entertaining. Especially when presented like this:

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Temptation of Victoria

By New Order.

Forgive the less than stellar vocals...the audio was taken from a New Order show in 2002.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Moon Review

I finally saw Moon today. If anyone remembers I posted the trailer sometime during the summer, expressing the excitement I felt about seeing the film. I gotta say my excitement was not met with disappointment. All I'll say about the plot of the movie is this: Sam Rockwell has been on the moon for three years mining its energy sources (this takes place in the not-too-distant future), and only has two weeks left before he can head home. Then some strange things start occurring...really strange things. I know, from that description it kind of sounds like your generic run of the mill sci-fi thriller. But it is so much more than that. Rockwells performance is amazing. Which is a good thing, because he is the only person you see. He speaks, don't worry. He is taken care of by a super-computer, in the same vein as HAL in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Only this time it's voiced by Kevin Spacey.

If you can't tell, I really enjoyed the film. Especially the soundtrack. The eerie music of Clint Mansell really drives the imagery and the emotion of the movie. Not surprising, considering he wrote the music for Requiem For a Dream and The Fountain.

Do not miss this one.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Please Billy, Spare Us.

On September 19th of this year, Billy Corgan announced on his website that the "Smashing Pumpkins" will be releasing another album. And not just any album, one that will be spanning forty-four tracks, and will be free to all. Normally if an artist that I know and love were to make this announcement, I would be beyond excited. Sadly, this is not the "Smashing Pumpkins" that I know and love. With the departure of the original drummer, who has been replaced by some 19 (maybe 20) year old, Billy is the only remaining original Pumpkin. Not only that, but the last "Pumpkins" album that was released, Zeitgeist, was a fucking mess. It was nearly impossible to listen to. It was like watching your childhood teddy bear get ripped to pieces, then suddenly being urinated upon. That bad.

You can imagine my worry when I saw this announcement. Then I read the paragraph where Billy has tried to explain the significance, or 'meaning' of the album:

"The story of the album is based on 'The Fool's Journey', as signified in the progress of the Tarot. It is my intention to approach this by breaking down the journey of our life here into four phases as made by these different characters; the Child, the Fool, the Skeptic, and the Mystic."

Thanks for the essay proposal Billy. To make things sound any more sane, Billy has named the album Teargarden by Kaleidyscope. What?

The quote suits the man.

Please Billy, stop destroying the Pumpkins name, and stop making it harder for me to be a fan of your music.

Plan the Parade

The Leafs won tonight, against a good team who has a penchant for losing to bad teams during the regular season.

Yippee! Hooray! Alright, lets not start jerking each other off just yet. The Leafs still need to play at over .600 for the rest of the season to even think about contending for a playoff spot.

Interestingly enough, the last time they had a starting record this poor, (they went 0-10 before winning a game), the year was 1967.

The last time they won the Stanley Cup.

Now I really sound insane.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Someone Is Getting Fired

Alright, who's crazy idea for a bad joke was this?

According to the National Post, Canada's World Junior Team will be wearing green jerseys when we compete for another gold medal in Regina and Saskatoon. The reason? To honor the fucking Roughriders. A western CFL team, who's roster is full of American players, playing the bastard Canadian child of an American game, is being honored by a fully Canadian team. They're saying 'oh, its to honor the fans of the Roughriders, because they give so much support'. Who cares? If the Juniors go to Toronto, will they be wearing blue to honor the Argo's and the Maple Laughs? The logic behind this change is absolutely insane. Not only that, but everyone in the stands will be wearing red and white, our national colors. People are going to think we're bloody Irish.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Paranormal Activity

You may have heard about this movie already. The one that only cost 15,ooo$ to make, is in the same vein as the Blair Witch Project, and was actually 'voted' into theaters by fans.

Its the story of some generic couple, who happen to be haunted by some ghostly being. The whole thing is filmed through an amateur video camera (hence the Blair Witch reference), which doesn't seem like a cheesy gimick at all while you watch it. Other movies (Cloverfield) have tried to replicate this, and have failed terribly. Anyways, the whole thing consists of instances of them being haunted, generally at night, then attempting to deal with it during the day. I'll admit, the film did indeed have me pretty creeped out more than once. Its amazing how little can be used to create such a large effect. Something as simple as a swinging ceiling light, or a slamming door can jolt you. The only thing is, at the film goes on, I started to not be bothered by anything that was happening in the film. In the second half of the movie, when something 'scary' happened, I just simply wasn't fazed by it any more. The 'scare factor', wore off almost completely by the end. Its not that things weren't going on, the novelty had worn off. Maybe my attention span and need to be entertained 24/7 is getting to be too much.

I am Boring

I literally have nothing interesting to write about. Want to know what I did last night?

I stayed up until 7 am playing Fight Night Round 4 and watching the boxing documentary When We Were Kings. That's how awesome I am.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Thursday, October 22, 2009



Had a couple of firsts yesterday. Both of which were bizarre. The first being inside a car when it got totalled. We were turning left on a green (I was in shotgun) and we got side-swiped by a ford escape. Luckily the friend of mine who was driving accelerated, or writing this post may have been pretty fucking difficult. Either way, quite a harrowing experience. Its one of those things that you don't believe is happening while it is. The feeling you get when you look to your right only to see a speeding car about half a foot from your window is indescribable. Then the bang comes, and before you know it you've done a 180 and are facing the other way, with your door smashed in and glass all over the place. Thank whoever made those old Audi's so strong. I'm happy to say everyone involved was fine, save some pretty severe whip-lash.

The second first, of which may be a shocker to some considering I'm more or less a movie fanatic, was watching American Beauty. A decade of praise for this film and I still had never bothered to watch it. Well I can safely say that I was pretty blown away. Kevin Spacey's character has easily become one of my favorite film characters in recent memory. Its a bizarre, hilarious, moving film. If you haven't seen this one before, go rent/download/buy it...whatever. Just do it. Now.

Dead Man's Bones

Ended up listening to the whole of Dead Man's Bones, Ryan Gosling's foray into music. And I have to say I was not that impressed. The first song I heard by them (just below this post) gave me a sense of optimism. Maybe it was just the surprise of a movie star making music that wasn't completely un-listenable. That means you, Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton.

Almost all the tracks feature a choir backing the duo's vocals, which sounded like a pretty good idea. Until I listened to the whole album. I didn't really find one song on the album that I truly enjoyed (Name in Stone isn't on this album), and frankly the whole thing was pretty boring. Sometimes the choir works, and sometimes it just completely falls flat. Like on My Body's a Zombie For You. I'm not sure what is so unsettling about a dozen children yelling "My body's a zombie for you!" repeatedly. Maybe it just didn't strike the right chord with me, but I wouldn't exactly recommend it to anybody. Sorry Ryan, but maybe stick to what you're good at.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Who Knew?

That dude from Breaker High is in a band.


Who knew...James Iha (Smashing Pumpkins), Taylor Hanson (yes, that Hanson), Adam Schlesinger (Fountains of Wayne) and Cheap Tricks Bun E. Carlos had formed their own "supergroup". James Iha...what the hell happened?

Not so cool.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Mid-Term Fear.

We've all been there, we've all felt it at one point or another. That moment when you realize your month or so of binge drinking, sleeping, missed classes, waking up in strange beds and places, and a general reckless-abandon towards your academic life has landed you in hot fucking water. When you just have to bend over, and receive a raping in the form of actual work and responsibility. It's a pretty special feeling, having the weight of the whole semester come crashing down upon your head in one swoop, and having no one to blame or turn to but yourself.

One will do anything to get out of such a pickle, and desperation starts to kick in. Nearly useless cramming becomes the norm for a few short hours. You even start to believe you can pull it off. Then before you know it, you find yourself sucking down butts at an abnormal rate, loading up on lotto 649 tickets.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Wake Up Maggie

Downloaded a bunch of albums this week, which included Rod Stewart's Every Picture Tells a Story. This album features what is likely his most well-known song, Maggie May. I had never been a Rod Stewart fan before, simply because I would always see commercials of him on television as an old crooner, seemingly only singing for middle-aged women. How wrong I was. This guy fucking rocks, as does this album. The whole thing is great. Mixing various styles of rock and roll, Every Picture never gets boring, and I never skipped a track.

Who would have thought this guy, and the dude all fucked up on various narcotics were the same person:

I also grabbed Ohbijou's sophmore album, Beacons.

It's an enjoyable listen, but they seem to be just another re-hashed version of Arcade Fire. Only this time from Toronto, with more ukulele and banjo! This album didn't blow me away or anything, but its definitely soothing, relaxing music with some songs getting to the point of being boring (I'm looking at you, We Lovers and Jailbird Blues). Check it out, if only once. Good for a rainy day, but I don't see this getting up high on my rotation.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Surprise, surprise, the Maple Laughs are playing terribly. They are still win-less this season, and until things turn around I am seriously questioning this man Burke's thinking. I mean, trading your first picks for the next two years, along with your second pick this year? Very, very risky if you ask me. Kessel is a good player, but he also had one of the best passers in the league feeding him the pick last year. This year he'll have Matt Stajan. Time will tell.

Other news around the NHL is that No. 1 pick Tavares is ripping it up, 5 points in three games. I'll admit I was doubting his abilities coming straight into the NHL. If things continue, I and many other of my friends will be eating our words.

Heatley is showing that if he's the center of attention and gets exactly what he wants, he can all of a sudden be one of the most threatening goal scorers in the league. Great for him, and the Sharks, but what a baby. But I guess if he keeps that up, Thornton and Heatley will be a lock for the Olympic team.

I don't even like baseball, but the Boston Red Sox got their asses kicked, as they should.

Now onto a much more pressing issue than sports. Obama. How in the hell he got awarded the Nobel Peace Prize is completely beyond me. The way the Nobel committee has been explaining themselves is kind of outrageous. They've been saying he got it because of the way he speaks about peace, and his intentions. His commitment to a nuclear-free world, peace in the Middle East, health care, blah blah blah. None of these things have happened. If these things had been achieved, then by all means give him every prize he desires. He'd be a fucking saint. But he hasn't. Not only has he not done these things, he's done the opposite of what peace means! A war in Afghanistan, a war in Iraq, health care bill being shot down in Congress, and not to mention the prison on Guantanamo Bay is still open. I seem to remember him saying (during his campaign) Guantanamo was going to be one of the first things he was dealing with when he took office. I'm not calling him a liar (yet), but to award this man the Nobel Peace Prize cheapens the validity of the prize itself.

Long Weekend

Went to Toronto on the Thursday night (yes I am aware that's not the real weekend) to enjoy some clubbing. Went to this place called Strangelove. I was half expecting crazy psychedelic lighting, maybe with some 60s go-go dancers. There was nothing of the sort. The only other detail I can seem to remember of that place was that the song seemed to never change. The next morning while waiting at the corner of Sherbourne and Dundas for a streetcar, (remember this place is #1 in Toronto for crime) my friend Skyler and I were approached by a rather haggard looking gentleman. He told us he wanted to hang around us white guys because the police were looking for him, and he had 1500$ in his pocket. He then told me us white folks we were tougher than anyone else, which I found to be quite hilarious. Slowly as I saw a cruiser approaching, he took off like the wind, and told us he was never there. I'm still not sure if he ever was.

Friday night was the usual get shit-canned in Hamilton and go to Hess routine, where Che turns into a high school reunion. The only thing of note from that evening was witnessing some poor sucker get his face clobbered in by about four bouncers. Watching his nose get crushed about four times with blood pooling right under him reminded me what a bad idea it is to rush bouncers after you've been thrown out of the bar.

Saturday was interesting, as I was out until about six in the morning and had forgotten my house keys. Rather than trying to sleep in the garage again (I had tried this the previous winter, it was not pleasant), I called my house. There's nothing quite as embarassing as having to call your mother from your front porch at that hour, and asking if she could let you inside. Especially when your cousins are showing up the next day for thanksgiving lunch. I slept basically until they showed up. At 4:45 pm.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Thursday, October 8, 2009


Sports Hype:

This morning James Duthie posted this hilarious article on TSN, explaining why the media and fans need to relax and realize that we're only around three games into the regular NHL season. Vancouver hasn't started out great, so Luongo stinks right? San Jose and Detroit haven't been playing well, so obviously they're going to tank for the rest of the season. Toronto hasn't won a game yet, and won't for the rest of the season. On a side note, the two players to be most excited about on that team, Gustavsson and Stalberg are fucking injured. Great. Anyways, onto why I'm even basically paraphrasing what was already said on the TSN article. TSN is the epicentre of the NHL hypemachine, so I find it quite ironic that Duthie of all people is calling out the media and fans for freaking out after two or three games. Duthie and his cronies sit at a table all week disecting teams, already trying to call whether or not a team will make the playoffs, which goalie will falter, it goes on forever. In conclusion, it's cheesy to call out the hockey analysts for playing into the hype, when you are in fact the lead analyst on a network that does nothing but create hype.

Music Hype:

I'm sure some people had heard about this band called Girls a couple of months ago, as the release of their extremely anticipated debut album has had a whole heap of hype surrounding it. I had only heard about them a few days ago, and have since then listened to the album, which funnily enough is called Album. The title itself is so painfully indie it makes me want to puke. Kind of like watching Juno. Or anything else starring Ellen Page. Music sites and blogs are riddled with people who have been going ape-shit waiting for this album, with the song samples making them jizz into their vintage corduroy's. It's not the greatest, most awesomest thing I have ever heard, and it certainly doesn't seem like these guys are going to change music or anything. To be honest one song in particular, Laura sounds like a bad Libertines rip-off. But all the bashing and hype aside, its actually quite a good album. Sounds like they pumped this thing out in their garage into a lo-fi tape recorder. And that's not a bad thing. Check these tracks out:

Hellhole Ratrace
Lust For Life

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Music! (Old and New)

It's surprising (to me) how little I knew about this band, considering they've been around for a hell of a long time, and basically sound like a mash-up of some of the first bands I started listening to in high school. About two weeks ago this song was put on the stereo at my house in Guelph, just after a nice pass around of the old wacky tobacky. I asked my roomate (repeatedly) when the fuck Robert Plant put out this song, and if it was with Zeppelin backing him or not. I was met with a few looks of bewilderment, and was asked if I was as retarded as the question. Soon after I did feel like a fool, as the band was clearly Supertramp playing School. Since then I have listened to this song a couple dozen times. That Pink Floyd inspired guitar and song structure mixed with a Plant-esque voice has had me hooked, feeling like I'm in grade nine again listening to The Wall for the first time. This is off their album Crime of the Century.

I downloaded a Neil Young album this week. I had heard about it reading some article that was talking about Uncle Neil releasing a huge set of previously unreleased work, which includes mostly live material. I decided to get Sugar Mountain: Live at Canterbury House 1968 from the extensive set. And wow, what a great fucking album. The recording isn't perfect. You know that white noise sound in the backround you hear when you play a tape? Yeah there's alot of that in here. But Neil's voice is crystal clear, as is his guitar work. It's quite early on in his career, and I don't think I've ever heard his voice sound better. The show was an intimate one as you can tell it's a tiny crowd by the small amount of clapping, and the way he addresses the fans. Considering it's 1968 and Young hadn't hit the music scene as a huge solo artist yet, this album feels kind of special. He's playing his heart out. Go give it a listen, if not only for the version of Sugar Mountain. Or when he rambles on about taking speed pills while trying to work a real job.

(sorry I couldn't find a sample from this recording)

I also got Raekwon's new album, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Pt. II. This is a big one, as it runs at over 70 minutes and has 22 tracks. Not that it's a particularly bad thing, for the most part they're solid tracks. But maybe a few songs could have been left out, simply for the reason that it's almost hard to listen to the album the whole way through without getting bored. But that's just me, I'm sure rap fanatics would have no problem doing it. If you're a fan of Wu-Tang, definitely check this one out, as many members return to help out, along with other non-clan members.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Its Easy to be Cynical.

The Leafs have come out of the gate stumbling. In three games they have posted a 0-2-1 record after their loss to the Senators this evening. Fan-fucking-tastic. Not only that, but Stalberg got absolutely leveled, and looked like he had a concussion. He did not play after being hit. The team as a whole did not play well, but at least Gustavsson did OK.

So the Leafs lost tonight, a few hours after I got surgery on my mouth. The surgery put I guess what would be replacement roots in my gums for my three missing teeth. It was a pretty strange feeling, being awake while someone literally hammered three steel rods into my gums. Not that it hurt much, but it sure rattled my whole skull while it was happening. Now I'm stuck with a swollen face, a very empty stomach, and a weak-looking Leafs squad. At least I have some severely powerful painkillers.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Dreams Squashed

Today, the judge that has been hearing arguments from both the NHL and Jim Balsillie on the issue of relocating the Phoenix Coyotes to Hamilton came to a decision. And what a fucking decision it is. Neither side gets the team. So after all those months of courtroom time, deliberation, mud-slinging, high-hopes, and surely millions of dollars in legal fees spent, we come to this? Give me a fucking break.

I wanted my Hamilton Coyotes damnit.


Mats Sundin has retired. After 18 NHL seasons, the Big Swede is out of the game permanently. Thank fucking God. I say that not because I didn't like him, he was a fine player. I say that because now we don't have to hear about whether or not he wants to play for months on end, and we don't have to watch some sucker GM sign him for ten million a season, only for him to play half of it.

What really pissed me off though, was his refusal to be traded from the Maple Leafs during his last season there, knowing he wasn't going to play for them the next season anyways. A cup-bound team like Detroit surely would have loved to trade some prospects and draft pick to the Leafs. Might even have put the Leafs a year ahead of the rebuilding schedule. I guess we'll never know, but that move from Mats was a serious kick in the pants. If you ask me, that move tarnished my view of the man, and painted him as a selfish player who wanted a big fat paycheck at the end of his career.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Song to the Siren

If you've ever needed proof of John Frusciante's (Red Hot Chili Peppers) singing abilities, here it is. If you ask me he's one of the best rock singers out there.

Check out his solo albums...

Shadows Collide With People
The Empyrean
To Record Only Water for Ten Days
The Will To Death

This song is off The Empyrean.

People Watched That On TV?

Apparently during Guelphs homecoming game vs. Western this weekend our starting quarterback was recorded by a camera owned by The Score, which was broadcasting nationwide, saying "fuck Western". Now some people involved in the sport are flipping out, saying a starting quarterback shouldn't be saying such things. Give me a goddamn break. First of all, Guelph vs. Western is a pretty heated rivalry. Secondly, since when is swearing during a sports game such a horrible thing? Have you ever watched an NHL game, and paid attention to the players mouths? Sometimes if you listen closely, you can hear the on-ice microphones picking up the 'potty-mouth'. Far worse things have been said on the football field, surely. The fact that this guy got caught by an on-field microphone is just a shitty occurence. And finally, who the hell watches Canadian University football on television anyways? Now people among the sports media are saying the Guelph coaching staff should be phoning the Western coaching staff to apologize. Know what I have to say to that? Fuck Western.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Another Weekend.

Did a few things of note this weekend, mostly involving alcohol. Friday night doesn't matter, it was the usual 'share a 60 of rum three ways and go downtown' routine, which was fine. Friday afternoon though, I went to see Trailer Park Boys: Countdown to Liquor Day. I was very optimistic going into this movie. The first film these boys made was pretty awful, at least for die-hard fans. This one wasn't much different, but the trailer and premise of the whole thing made it sound like it would be great. Not the case. It just felt like a really long, bad episode. And considering this is the last we'll see of them, it was a terrible send off.

Very disappointing.

Saturday. What an interesting evening it was. The previous afternoon, I had spoken to this thirty year old woman who came by, asking if her and her five girlfriends could come to my house, bring beers, and get shit-faced with us. After mulling this almost surreal situation in my head and calculating whether or not this could be some horrible trick, I said sure. These ladies had lived in my house ten years prior, and since it was homecoming they wanted to do something nostalgic. Before they arrived, I had spent most of my morning sitting on my porch sipping rum and cokes, yelling obscenities at passing Western students. I was pretty surprised no violence erupted, because I was not discrete about it. The women arrived, and we all had quite a good time. They brought us a case of beer, danced, chatted, and basically confirmed how funny this whole thing was for us, as our libidos surely were going insane, having a handful of wasted good-looking older women around. They eventually left. That night after a house party, I ended up at this place in Guelph called the 'Guggenheim' which is a small underground art gallery. They happen to serve liquor and allow indoor smoking. Fuck yeah. There were also zombies dancing around. That's right.

And now on this Sunday evening, I will soon be bending over and accepting that I've procrastinated for a whole week, and will be receiving the pounding in the form of a 'thematic article review'. Whatever the hell that is.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Kill The Messenger

I saw Chris Rock's DVD Kill the Messenger the other night. Didn't stop laughing throughout the whole thing. Might have had something to do with what I was inhaling at the time, but man oh man that guy had me in stitches.

Sorry about the stupid HBO sponsored clips that don't show the swears...go find this DVD on a torrent and stick it to 'em.

Failure and Discovery

It looks like my boy Balsillie is loosening his grip on the terms surrounding his bid to purchase the Phoenix Coyotes and move them to the Hammer. He says he'll allow the Coyotes to play their last season in Phoenix this year. Bravo Jim. I mean, I want him to get this thing, but even I am thinking he's being slightly unreasonable. Moving a team less than a month away from the start of the regular season? Into a building that isn't ready for an NHL team? The scheduling issues alone are not worth the immediate move. So good on his part.

To go along with this topic, Gretzky resigned as head coach in Phoenix. The Great One had finally abandoned a sinking ship. I guess he doesn't want to be involved in all this schoolyard antics going on in Phoenix right now. I wonder how his wife feels about that, seeing as he was being paid eight million fucking dollars to coach a losing team every year. I didn't know you could essentially fail at your job year in year out, and still get paid handsomely.

That's the failure part of this post. Now onto the discovery. Are you ready?

They found fucking water on the moon.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Been a While

Holy shit its been a while since I've written something on here...bound to happen when the wireless card inside your laptop doesn't work, so you're forced to go out and buy a fucking 70$ USB receiver. Brutal. At least it works.

I'm sorry to have kept all my rabid fans dying for updates. All two of you. I will also apologize to any one who doesn't enjoy hockey. NHL Pre-season has started, and with the regular season coming up, there is going to be a shit-load more hockey talk on here. Too bad.

But for now I will talk about duct tape. That's right, duct tape. That little roll of grey sticky stuff that us Canadians hold so dearly to our hearts. Red Green swore by it. Well let me tell you, its a bunch of bullshit. All my fucking posters have fallen down within a week of putting them up, and sticky tack doesn't work either. Double sided tape ruins the posters. What in the hell do I use for Christs sake?

Speaking of Christ, some Witnesses came by my house the other day. It was during the height of my recent bout with the sickness, so when they opened their pamphlet to the page depicting horrible flames with the phrase, "will you burn in hell?" written across it, the only suitable and physically capable response I had was a groan and a slammed door.

I hope this rant will suffice until I can think of something moderately interesting to write about.

Just quickly though: Phil Kessel won't be playing until mid-November, because he will be recovering from surgery? What the hell is up with that Burkie?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

More 9/12 Insanity

See those photos I posted a couple of days ago, under 'Smart People'? Those photos stemmed from a rally that was organized and promoted by our favorite, Glenn Beck. The rally occurred on September 12th, a day after the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Choosing that date clearly meant to be some kind of sadistic play on people's emotions. The rally attracted people to capitol hill in Washington, with the purpose of voicing their opinions and disatisfaction with the Obama administration. They're protesting healthcare, the economic stimulus package, socialism, communism, nazism...wait, what?

Well just by listening to the first raving lunatic, its clear that the majority of the people in this crowd are so far off their rockers, that its nearly impossible to take any of them seriously. Just listen to what some of them are saying when they're asked why they are there...

Why are you here?

"To prevent our country from turning into a third world nation"
"To stand up for God and our nation, and preserve the nation and our land"
"I'm out here for...the tax!"

Go to 1:44 in the video, what a fucking moron. Doesn't even know why she's there, or what she is arguing for.

These baseless arguments, and incredibly uninformed people are a complete riot to watch. What's even more entertaining is looking at some of the signs they're carrying. I mean, "Bury Obamacare with Kennedy"!? People in this video calling Obama a Muslim, Commie, a Nazi, a Socialist...oh wait, they think Socialism and Communism are the same thing.

So let me get this straight: Obama is a Communist, Socialist, and a Nazi? That's funny, because I'm pretty sure the Nazis wanted to destroy and Communists, and Communists thought Socialists were liberal pussies. Interesting. Not only that, but confusing Socialism with Communism is pure stupidity. Here in Canada we have social elements. Like socialized health care. I didn't know all our Prime Ministers were Communist Nazis. I guess I didn't get the memo.

I could literally go on all day about how insane this all is, but I don't think you want to continue reading my ranting and raving.

3:50 to about 6:15 in the video features some of the more insane individuals.

Have a nice day.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Patrick Swayze died last night, ending his battle with pancreatic cancer. He starred in several very successful films, probably his most well-known roles coming in 1987 with Dirty Dancing, and in 1990 with Ghost. You know the one, with the scene where him and Demi Moore get their freak on, clay-making style.

Me though, I'll remember him for his lesser-known roles. Watching Swayze rob banks and surf while battling Keannu Reeves in 1991's Point Break is much more entertaining than any amount of clay sex could ever be.

Dead Presidents robbing banks and surfing. Need I say more?

Here's the synopsis for the 1984 commie-fighting classic, Red Dawn.

'Red Dawn' envisions a mid-1980's America under siege from invading Russian and Cuban armies. Told at a boiling point of nuclear deterrence between the world's super powers, the threat focuses on a group of high school students who take refuge in the Rockies. First coping with survival and eventually fighting back guerrilla style, the students take the war to the invading armies in the hope that they can help turn the tide. As winter progresses; however, the group is worn down, physically, emotionally and mentally by war's attrition. As only a few remain, they must decide how to reach America's safe zones and see if tomorrow will bring another Red Dawn.'

If after reading that you don't want to see it, I don't want to be your friend.

If you were alive and in middle-school in the past ten years, chances are you read The Outsiders. This movie had fucking everyone in it. Matt Dillon, Rob Lowe, Emilio, Tom Cruise, Diane Lane, the list goes on. Swayze played the wise older brother and leader of the gang, who also wore tight shirts similar to the ones sported in Dirty Dancing. (yes, I have seen Dirty Dancing).

Go check these ones out if you haven't already, and remember a great actor.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


Big things have been going on in the NHL the past couple of days. First off, this saga between Jim Balsillie and the NHL that has been dragging on for the better part of the summer might actually be coming to a head. They've been fighting it out in court the past couple of days, arguing whether or not Balsillie will be allowed to buy the Phoenix Coyotes, then move them to Hamilton. The Judge has heard their bids (they're doing an auction) and will apparently now deliberate for what will no doubt be several days. I've already mentioned it here before, but Hamilton getting a team would be absolutely fucking amazing.

Heatley finally got his wish and was traded from the Ottawa Senators, going to San Jose for Jonathan Cheechoo, Milan Michalek and a second round pick. Good thing too, its always fun to watch the Senators get screwed over. Unless Cheechoo actually starts playing well again, which is quite unlikely. As for San Jose, I don't think a self-centered forward is the best thing for that team. They seem to choke in the playoffs every year despite always kicking ass in the regular season, while also having one of the best teams on paper. They don't even have a captain at the moment for christs sake.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Pauly Shore Should Be Dead

It was the first day of classes today, so the night before I decided to stay in and try to start off the year not hung over.

Watched 'Pauly Shore is Dead'. All the bong hits in the world couldn't have rescued this film from being turned off an hour into it. Basically, Pauly 'The Weasel' Shore fakes his own death in an effort to see reactions from around Hollywood, and prove that once you're dead, you're a legend, regardless of how humiliating your career was. As a child, I loved Pauly Shore. 'Bio-Dome', 'Son-in-Law', and 'In the Army Now' were old time favorites. I used to think the man was hilarious. Clearly when I was younger there was something wrong with my brain, because after watching this latest film its made me wish that Mr. Shore truly was dead.

So out with that one, and in with another movie; 'Mr. Brooks'. The one with Kevin Costner as this murdering lunatic who has a split personality, portrayed by William Hurt. Oh, Demi Moore is in it playing the cop hot on his tail, along with Dane Cook playing some dude who wants to go murder people with Costner (one of the films weakest points). Although it was mildly entertaining, the acting was horrendous, and its impossible to take Costner seriously as a creepy murderer. I mean, I was half expecting him to go play baseball with his dead father at any second. However, we do get to see someone get totally fucking rocked by a shovel to the neck. Redeeming factor for sure. All in all, I wouldn't recommend either of these movies.

Anyways sorry I haven't been posting that often at all, internet access has been scarce since arriving in Guelph. Might have something to do with the fact that I left my power cord in Hamilton. Fantastic.

Monday, September 7, 2009


Had a pretty damn good weekend, although we could just call it a week, considering I had been drinking steadily since Wednsday.

Got up to Guelph on Thursday afternoon, and without too much time passing Toby and I already had some beers going, without doing much actual moving in. Albion was its usual messy self, filled with sweaty dancers being driven by some grungy electro and sweet disco-jams.

Friday I was quite hung over, decided to walk down to EB Games since finding an old trade-in card with forty bucks on it. Used it to buy Fight Night Round 4. Played for several hours, almost broke a few things after frustrating bouts. Have to be careful with that game. Went to Van Gogh's in the evening, as the line-up for Vinyl was around the corner. Nuts to that.

Saturday was much of the same, with a hair cut changing things up. This time Toby and I shared a forty-ounce bottle of rum, making a healthy drive to finish over half of it before the bar. Went to Albion for some funk. We met some new friends, and decided to hit Jimmy Jazz for some local live tunes. Turned into a very late night, involving little sleep. Biggest hang over of the five day bender, without question.

Sunday, the day of rest. Spent most of it lying on the couch, attempting to piece together a coherent thought. Kevin moved into the house, so we had a very serious BBQ that involved steaks, salmon, and some kick-ass greek salad. That evening, drinking continued as usual, with a trip back downtown to Vinyl. Very wobbly evening. I'm sure it was a sight to be had, with the three of us stumbling into each other the whole way home.

And today, I'm going to watch the Tiger Cats beat some pansy-Argo ass.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Moving Day

Its super fun after getting home at 6am the night before.

Fuck you Rokbar.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

French Connection

Serge Gainsbourg - Histoire de Melody Nelson (1971)

I've listened to this album I don't know how many times lately...and this is easily my favorite song off the album.

Basically Gainsbourg was one of France's biggest artists in the 1970s, and according to Wikipedia, one of the most influential musicians of all time. If you've ever listened to anything by Beck its easy to see the connection, especially in this song, Melody.

Get Ready For Rush Hour

In my boredom last night, I turned on the tube and to my delight, the old early 90's classic Speed was just starting up. This was back when Keannu Reeves wasn't just some soft-spoken pansy wearing a black gown. He didn't know fucking kung-fu either.

What a candy-ass.

No, no, there are no "agents" in this flick, no "architect". Just some deranged ex-cop with a mangled hand who gets a hard on for blowing shit up in very creative ways. And on top of it, he's played by the bad ass Dennis Hopper. He played Koopa in the live action Mario Brothers! Let's try and forget that one...

...But we're not talking about cheesy video game adaptations, no, we're talking about a classic here. This movie has everything. A hot Sandra Bullock, Keannu Reeves not playing some cyber-hero, lots of explosions, a bus that can't go under 50, Jeff Daniels getting shot, then blown the fuck up, and lots of kick ass one-liners that those beloved 90s action movies were known for. Not to mention one of the most memorable decapitations in film.

Go rent that shit on VHS.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Cargo Cult

So I was searching for the Serge Gainsbourg song 'Cargo Culte' on youtube, and this is what I came across:

What in the fuck?

New Picture

In honor of the new photo at the top of this page, I figured I should show some videos that showcase Gary Busey's brilliance in cinema, and real life.

The last video is absolutely amazing. Directing your own interview, now that's genius.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

...and the trend continues.

I can't believe I left these out before.


Apparently the powers that be decided the police presence in Hamilton's Hess Village had to be stepped up a notch. This is being done by now having five horse-mounted officers standing at the end of a street, and I believe walking down after the bars are closed telling people to get the fuck out. Now they're probably right about the police presence part, it could be stepped up. I have actually seen some cops getting over-powered down there by the throngs of drunken brawlers that are a dime a dozen.

But, for one thing having these horses around there costs the city money, meaning costing me money. Second, and this is the most ironic part, the horses fucking shit all over the street. Anyone ever been hassled about having their dog take a big steamer, and not picking it up? Its very much against the law. These horses though, can just crap whenever, wherever they want, with nobody coming to clean it up. And its not like its tiny little crap that ToTo is dropping, these are literally small hills of shit. I brought the irony to the attention of one of the officers on the horses, and was ignored. I proceeded to make some comment about the hilarity of watching pigs standing in shit, and luckily I was not heard by any type of law enforcement. Thirdly, its kind of a hazard. Imagine hundreds of people walking around shitfaced (a possible and unfortunate result of someone with poor balance), who have enough problems staying on their feet and not puking, now have to worry about turning around and stepping in a nice steamy pile of horse shit.

Personally I'd love to see some rookie copper having to go around with a shovel and bag picking all that crap up. I just hope I have a camera when I see it.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

First Hang Over.

Ahhh after a solid night of consuming lots and Jack Daniels, I have my first Canadian hang over in over four months. Feels great, other than the fact that the bottle of JD cost me fucking 28$. What the hell is going on over here? Anyways bitching aside, maybe I'll head on down to Murphy's Subs, or even Queen's Pizza for some very local, Hamilton flavor.

Apparently DJ AM died last night, surely by the hand of too many narcotics. Actually yes, one headline reads: 'he was found surrounded by crack pipes and pill bottles'. How humiliating. Who needs more than one crack pipe anyways?

Well looks like it will be a slow day, where I will surely try and catch up on my NHL '09 fix which I missed out on all summer. Pathetic, I know. But that game to me is like what crack is to DJ AM. So watch out for my obiturary.

And I seem unable to get enough of late-90s Canadian hip-hop. Sweet.

Friday, August 28, 2009


This group is a joke in France, and I'll admit its a pretty cheesy song. But its painfully catchy.

Let the video load for a minute, the site hosting it sucks. I wasn't allowed to post it through youtube.

Back Home.

Well I'm back after four months overseas that went by in a flash. It almost feels like the whole thing was a dream, and I've just woken up only to find myself broke as fuck, a head full of memories, with a taste for whiskey, wine, stinky cheese, and cigarettes.

La France, je t'aime.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Been stuck in my head all day.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Film Review: Inglorious Basterds

I won't say too much about this movie, other than its probably the most entertaining Tarantino film to date. Its not exactly in the same vein as Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, or Jackie Brown style-wise, but it doesn't matter.

Tarantino brings insane violence, lots of comedy and some great acting to create a film that has never made watching Nazi's being brutally slaughtered so much fun.

Its only flaw would be that its a bit too long, with some scenes feeling like they're being dragged out. But its Tarantino, so what else could we expect.


Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Horror.

Walking around town this morning fighting off serious nausea from all the boozing last night, I saw one of the most foul sights I have ever witnessed. Some crazy old bag-lady who must have been at least sixty with huge scraggly grey hair, decided it would be a good idea to pull down her pants in the doorway of a clothing store, squat, and just start pissing everywhere with a very determined look on her face. Just thinking about it now makes me want to paint the computer screen with my lunch.

It was one of those things that you wish you could un-see.

Friday, August 21, 2009

I Love Horsies.

Film Review: District 9

A while ago I posted the trailer for this film, hoping that it wouldn't be a disappointment. Its a decent movie, but not nearly as good as it could have been. The first half of the movie is quite good, exploring our own humanity and how we're so easily corrupted by greed, even if it means the suffering of millions. After that though, it kind of turns into a full on action-movie, which would be fine, if only it didn't kind of ruin the serious message and good story that was set up in the first half of the film.

The rundown: Aliens come to Earth by accident, ship is broken. Aliens want to leave Earth. We want their guns. We keep them there in poverty, preparing them for near concentration-camp captivity. Struggle ensues. We are the bad guys.



I had the chance to hitch a ride back to Berlin with Alex and Dylan, and it was one hell of a drive. We left Lille at 4am because the car had to be returned to Berlin in the early afternoon. It gave us the chance to burn down the empty highways and make pretty good time. Over eight hundred kilometers in just over seven hours. Maybe it helped that we were going 200 km an hour most of the way.

Thank god for the German autobahn and its non-existent speed limits.

The sun coming up...I almost lost my camera taking this picture.

Going that speed, we came inches within our lives a couple of times, which resulted in stopping immediately to catch our breaths, and so our hearts didn't burst. Scary shit.

We made it back to Berlin in time, and in once piece.

I stayed in Alex's dormitory, happily taking the free-of-charge floor over a hostel. I was actually confronted by one of his program leaders, asking who I was and what I was doing there, seeing as they weren't allowed to have guests. I simply shrugged, gave her my name, and never saw or heard from her again.

Going to Berlin I kind of expected to see massive, old, and epic architecture everywhere, but it was quite the contrary. I suppose considering most of the city was flattened during the war, it would have been difficult to keep that heritage. Not to mention half of the city was communist for a while, who's history is clearly visible when you are on the Eastern side. Massive concrete apartment blocks in near-desolate neighborhoods are all over the east-side, with a noticeable shortage of shops and businesses on the former communist blocks.

Standing at the former border.

Personally I found Berlin to be a pretty bizarre place. Perhaps it was just the neighborhood I was in, but goddamn there were a lot of strange people walking around. Gutter-punks everywhere, getting offered any kind of drug imaginable, from about every fifth person I ran into. Maybe it's because I clearly was not German, and clearly was not from around there that I was offered so many narcotics. The thing I found most strange, is how they use they're not-so-popular history of the past one-hundred years or so to their advantage, and exploit it for tourism.

Flying the flags of the countries that occupied you...makes sense.

A piece of the wall, next to the red star.

Checkpoint Charlie, where the Allies were allowed to pass through the wall.

The Brandenburg Gate along with the Reichstag were extremely impressive.

Another thing that I noticed is that all over the city, there are grim reminders of the atrocities committed in the past.

A very cool building beside the Reichstag, with little white crosses sitting in front, signifying the deaths of people trying to cross the wall at that spot.

These pieces of gold are cast into the sidewalks in the front of formerly Jewish-owned properties and businesses, with the names of the victims, their birthdays, along with the date of their deportation, and where they were executed.

At night though, the city is packed with some very cool bars and clubs, that seem pretty unique to Berlin. Lots of character and very cool interiors pepper the city with a special nightlife. One bar even had televisions set up, connected to old school video gaming systems...and the DJ's passed around hash spliffs. Bonus.

After three nights there it was time for me to head back to Lille, and what a fucking shit-storm that was. I made my train reservation online, stupidly through the French train company SNCF, as you can make the reservation, then pick up your ticket at the station with your credit card. Apparently they don't do that in Berlin, and I would have to be in France to pick up my leave Berlin. Interesting.

Anyways, without a ticket I figured I was either stuck in the country for another night, or would have to pay another full price ticket, which already ran me 120 euros. I waited for the train to arrive, then sprinted up and down the platform looking for a train conductor who spoke English. The last person I found, she spoke English. With sweat pouring down my face, I tried to explain myself as quickly as possible, seeing as the train was leaving in about sixty seconds. She told me to get on the train, and we could figure something out. I hop on, and since it was an over-night train, told me to sit in one of the cabins. I waited for about twenty minutes, unsure of my fate. She came back, and told me that her boss wanted to charge me the full ticket price of 120 euros again. My jaw dropped. She asked me where I was from, told me that she loved Canadian accents, and the country. Just my luck, a Canadian lover. She then printed out a receipt, saying that she couldn't have me traveling without any form of ticket, and simply asked me for twenty euros, instead of the hundred and twenty. Relief washed over me in an awesome wave. I thanked her relentlessly, as she just saved me twice. She then informed me that I was beyond lucky, because I now had the whole three person cabin to myself for the thirteen hour overnight ride to Paris. Things just got better and better. The ride itself was actually very enjoyable. Going through the German countryside in the middle of the night with no lights around, the sky was lit up with stars. I eventually fell asleep, and woke up in Paris.

Night trains are the shit.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Da Beach

Some good 'ol Hamiltonian friends came to visit Lille about a week ago. Driving from Berlin, Dylan and Alex managed to swing themselves a ballin' Mercedes C-Class. Not wasting any time with this pinnacle of German engineering, we decided to hit the road and go to a beach on the Belgian coast. Seemed like a good idea, until we hit the insane traffic. What should have been a one hour drive, took three hours.

It looked like this most of the way there.

When we finally did arrive, we had to park about two kilometers away from the damn beach. Wouldn't have been so bad, but we had to haul about 36 beers for the four of us in one cooler. Seemed worth it when we got there at least...

Then it all went to shit on the ride back, totally blowing our good day out of the water. Seemed that someone decided to have their car breakdown on a one-lane highway, and couldn't find anyone to push it the fuck out of the way.

At least there was a sweet sunset...

...and enough time to hop out of the car to enjoy some tasty beers.

Actually, after the first brew I had to immediately use the toilet. So I hopped over the barrier, and crossed the service highway/road that was not being used at the moment. With my beer, I decided to mark my place at the side of the road into the ditch. Whilst doing so, a police van came screaming down the road towards me honking and flashing its siren. I swiftly flipped it the bird, whipped my beer at its windshield, resulting in a horrific and fiery crash, cooking all passengers inside*.

In all, it took us another three hours to get home.

*I actually bitched out, cut off my piss, tossed my beer in the ditch and tried to look at innocent as possible.