Smokes, lets go.

Here in France, as with most cities outside North America, the system for begging on the street is quite different than back home. Here its more aggressive. Frankly, half the time they try to strike up a conversation with you. Instead of asking for money, half the time they'll ask you for cigarettes. On top of that, people you don't even know, and that aren't even living on the street, seem to have no problem approaching you and asking for a cigarette. This happens sometimes in Canada, but generally at 2 in the morning outside some shitty bar. When I'm here however, I use my favorite excuse so far, 'sorry, I don't speak French'. Works every time. By the way I can speak it more or less just fine. I'm not a completely heartless asshole, you could say I have half a heart. I just pick and choose who I'm going to give money to on that particular day.

For example, a few days ago I was sitting on the fountain in the main square, and a gypsy-child (there are a shit-load of gypsies here) who couldn't have been any older than twelve, came up to me and asked for a smoke. Not just any smoke though, she was asking for the one I was already two-thirds of the way through. What the hell? Why not ask even for a full one? Anyways I refused, seeing as she hadn't even hit puberty yet. She proceeded to yell at me and make fun of my English accent, which I found hilarious because she could not speak English or French. Its some strange Eastern-European language that nobody understands. After carefully telling her to go the fuck away, I gave her a Euro.

Another example is when this super old man, (while holding a bottle of champagne mind you) came up to me, grabbed my hand, started shaking it, and begged me for cash, insisting it wasn't for booze. First of all, if you're a beggar and buying liquor, don't buy goddamn champagne. It's probably what landed you on the street in the first place, not being able to handle your crippling addiction to Crystal. Secondly, you instantly lose your credibility of 'not using the money for booze' if you have a bottle of booze in your hand. I gave the man a smoke and continued on my way. I just wanted my hand back.

There is a new breed of homeless I have seen here, and its the homeless are dressed like they just got off work, are on their way home, but not before they make a stop in the local square to score some change. I am not kidding, there are some homeless out there who are better-dressed than I am. These people get nothing.

Then there are the youths who always have dogs, which I don't really understand because it's just another mouth to feed. Anyways, these people are identified generally by their baggy jeans (by France's standards) their hooded sweaters, and usually are smoking pot or smell like pot. I'm sure I get mistaken for one all the time. I'm not exactly up-to-snuff when it comes to European fashion. Sorry I don't want my genitals crushed between my jeans and my leg. Anyways, these are the people I usually give money to. They have creative signs. 'Need money for diesel-fuel ferrari so I can go 250 mph' is one of the more hilarious signs I spotted. Or the classic, 'Need money for weed' to which I generally reply, 'Yeah? So do I'.

Call me an asshole if you want, but after living here for two months, it'll happen to you.